Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 28
Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescence
Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.
Anonymous
Definitions
Brainstorm
Think
Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Freudian Slip
A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Men
People
Women
Ambition
Goals
Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Babies
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
Anonymous
Definitions
Science/Weather
Statistics
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Fat
Waist
Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Law
Judge
Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Anonymous
Definitions
Abstainer
The father of the bride should realize he isn’t losing a daughter but gaining a bathroom.
Anonymous
Family
Marriage
Brides
It's a big nut to swallow.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Anonymous
Monastery: Consecration camp.
Anonymous
Definitions
Religion
Monastery
Yodeling: Slope opera.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Yodeling
Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Education
Teacher
“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.
Anonymous
Definitions
Blood
Pessimists
Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.
Anonymous
Definitions
Ambassador
Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.
Anonymous
Definitions
Eating
Food/Drink
Fiber
Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Middle age
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