Author: Anonymous Page 28

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

The father of the bride should realize he isn’t losing a daughter but gaining a bathroom.

It's a big nut to swallow.

I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof.