Author: Anonymous Page 28

There's more than one way to spin a rat.

Malaprops

Married at the hip

Mixed metaphors

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

Life

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Definitions

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

Never put all your eggs in one omelet.

Mixed metaphors

“Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

“I have three houses, and I’m going to buy another,” said Tom forebodingly.

Tom Swifties

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health Life

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Mixed metaphors

This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

Mixed metaphors

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Beliefs People

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.

Definitions Entertainment

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

… prostate with grief

Malaprops

“Do you think I’m a dull person?” Tom asked bluntly.

Tom Swifties

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Fools Intelligence

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence