Author: Anonymous Page 29

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

Definitions Family

Beer math is 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

Beer Science/Weather

Man blames most accidents on fate – but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one on the golf course.

Golf Sports

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

A leopard can't change his stripes.

Mixed metaphors

“Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers,” said Tom soothingly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m going to lie in the sun,” said Tom in Basque.

Tom Swifties

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

“Do you know the location?” asked Tom warily.

Tom Swifties

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors