Author: Anonymous Page 29

He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

We are proud to be part of a ground-breaking initiative.

Mixed metaphors

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.

Mixed metaphors

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Sports

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

Intelligence

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Beliefs Intelligence Proverbs Understanding

“Fire!” yelled Tom alarmingly.

Tom Swifties

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners.

Definitions

“Pretend we were in the days before railways,” Tom coached.

Tom Swifties

You continue to cloudy the water.

Mixed metaphors

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

Borrower: A person who always wants to be left a loan.

Definitions

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

A journey of a thousand miles keeps the doctor away.

Mixed metaphors

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

There is no indigestion worse that that which comes from having to eat your own words.

Communication