Author: Anonymous Page 29

That's putting the chicken before the cart.

Mixed metaphors

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language

It’s better to have half a cake and eat it and enjoy it, than not to have any cake at all.

Mixed metaphors

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Education: What you have left over when you subtract what you’ve forgotten from what you learned.

Definitions Education

Let's clear up a loose end.

Mixed metaphors

“This salmon is excellent,” said Tom superficially.

Tom Swifties

Harp: A piano in the nude.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of justice for all

Mixed metaphors

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

Miscellaneous

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

How does Teflon stick to the pan?

Science/Weather

Newspaper: A publication that condemns gambling and promotes lottery numbers.

Definitions

Waddya expect him to say, entray voose?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops

How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Time

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions