Author: Anonymous Page 3

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties

Business: Something which, if you don’t have any, you go out of.

Definitions

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Don’t eat with your mouth full!

Mixed metaphors

We're like two peas in a pot.

Malaprops Situations

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

“We’d like a table for two,” said Tom without reservation.

Tom Swifties

Cuddling: An act of warmth and affection that a husband will inevitably interpret as foreplay.

Definitions

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Definitions

Secret: Information you tell to one person at a time.

Definitions

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

“Bad marksmanship,” the hunter groused.

Tom Swifties

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.

Beliefs Opinion

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.

Characteristics Definitions