Author: Anonymous Page 3

Idiot: A man who sees your point in an argument but refuses to see your way.

Definitions Intelligence

The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.

Appearance Hair Murphy’s Laws

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Success Work

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

She couldn’t catch a cold if it had handles.

Expressions

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Jim Rosenthal to an American goalie: So what’s an American doing playing in goal for Millwall.

The goalie’s reply: I’m trying to keep the ball out.

Colemanballs

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

I don't want to step on your thunder.

Mixed metaphors

Acrimony: The holy state of being married.

Definitions Marriage

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

“Unlike you, I’ve always been a dog person,” he barked.

Tom Swifties

There is no halftime for cheerleaders!

Activities Sports

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Definitions

“I can’t do it!” Tom said notably.

Tom Swifties