Author: Anonymous Page 3

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Mixed metaphors

Most anybody can be a cowboy, but it takes a damn genius to make money at it.

Money Occupations Work

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

We are born naked, wet, and hungry; then things get worse.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

The walls of medieval cathedrals were supported by flying buttocks.

Malaprops

“This Bud’s for you,” said Tom lightly.

Tom Swifties

They’re clearly up the creek without a leg to stand on

Mixed metaphors

“It’s a German song,” Tom lied.

Tom Swifties

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

“Hey, you’re on my foot!” said Tom standoffishly.

Tom Swifties

The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.

Mixed metaphors

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Nepotism: Putting on heirs.

Definitions Family

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

Mixed metaphors

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Time

I was beaming at the seams!

Malaprops

Kill two cats with one bag.

Mixed metaphors

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

“Unlike you, I’ve always been a dog person,” he barked.

Tom Swifties