Author: Anonymous Page 3

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” said Mary guilelessly.

Tom Swifties

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

Taking the bull with both feet

Mixed metaphors

Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Let’s start at square zero.

Mixed metaphors

“I'll have a martini,” said Tom, dryly.

Tom Swifties

“The optician probably doesn’t have my glasses ready yet,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

“Fish seem to like me,” Tom said with baited breath.

Tom Swifties

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

She plummeted the deaths of inequity.

Malaprops

“I clubbed a diamondback snake with a spade,” Tom said heartlessly.

Tom Swifties

“Once again, I read it on Wikipedia,” Tom recited.

Tom Swifties

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

If you could get it working I'd be internally grateful.

Malaprops

“What’s a wide-angle lens?” asked Tom obtusely.

Tom Swifties

Get a new car for your spouse; it’ll be a great trade!

Autos Marriage Things

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Definitions

Yawn: Opening one’s mouth and wishing that others would close theirs.

Definitions