Author: Anonymous Page 3

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

You could take that guy with a grain a salt.

Mixed metaphors

That will round out the triangle.

Mixed metaphors

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Definitions Sex

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Situations Time

You continue to cloudy the water.

Mixed metaphors

“I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight”, said Tom affably.

Tom Swifties

Take a flying hike.

Mixed metaphors

You can take that to the bank and smoke it.

Mixed metaphors

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

Tom Swifties

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions

Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.

Definitions People

Bored: To attend meetings.

Definitions

Trick Photography: Focus pocus.

Definitions

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

“This movie will be very popular,” Tom projected.

Tom Swifties

Which way are the tea leaves blowing?

Mixed metaphors

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay