Author: Anonymous Page 3

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

“That painting makes me laugh”, Tom articulated.

Tom Swifties

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Definitions People

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

I would not trust him with a ten foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Conflict Crime People

Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Definitions Work

It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.

Mixed metaphors

Not to put her up on a limestone, but my sister is really terrific.

Misspokements

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

Tom Swifties

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Grandmother: A babysitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

Definitions Family

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

Marching to the beat of a dead horse

Mixed metaphors

When sleeping dogs fly.

Mixed metaphors