Author: Anonymous Page 30

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Fiddler: A violinist before he becomes the virtuoso.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.

Mixed metaphors

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

Life

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

Definitions

VD: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions Health

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Clothing Definitions

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

People

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

An unwatched pot boils immediately.

Murphy’s Laws

Keepsake: Something given us by someone we’ve forgotten.

Definitions Things

It would bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.

Mixed metaphors

Centimeter: A parking meter that takes pennies.

Definitions

I shot the wind out of his saddle.

Mixed metaphors

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

“Rasputin and I are lovers,” said Nicholas bizarrely.

Tom Swifties