Author: Anonymous Page 31

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

… prostate with grief

Malaprops

Beware geeks bearing scripts.

Reviews/Criticism

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

We'd like a room with a southern explosion.

Malaprops

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Communication

Hunch: What you call an idea that you’re afraid is wrong.

Definitions

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Tom Swifties

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

Cut the biblical cord.

Malaprops

“I insist on naming the first male insect”, said Tom adamantly.

Tom Swifties

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I went skiing last week and broke a leg… fortunately it wasn’t mine.

Sports

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

He knew how to butter his nest.

Mixed metaphors

Chicken: An egg factory.

Animals Definitions

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Activities Definitions