Author: Anonymous Page 31

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Spinster: An unlusted number.

… prostate with grief

Beware geeks bearing scripts.

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

We'd like a room with a southern explosion.

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Hunch: What you call an idea that you’re afraid is wrong.

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Cut the biblical cord.

“I insist on naming the first male insect”, said Tom adamantly.

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

I went skiing last week and broke a leg… fortunately it wasn’t mine.

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

He knew how to butter his nest.

Chicken: An egg factory.

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.