Author: Anonymous Page 32

What’s needed in government is more horse sense and less nonsense.

Government

He's like a cat out of water

Mixed metaphors

He was lookin' at me like a country mule lookin at a freight train.

Expressions

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

Behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow.

Malaprops

Moss never grows on a fish out of water.

Mixed metaphors

“Let’s spice it up,” said Tom gingerly.

Tom Swifties

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Definitions Places

Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding.

Definitions

As useless as a pocket on a cow

Expressions

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

Good to be back on the old terracotta.

Malaprops

“We can’t have this and eat it too,” said Tom archaically.

Tom Swifties

This thing is snowballing like a house afire!

Mixed metaphors

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Tom Swifties

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

“I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner,” said Tom succinctly.

Tom Swifties

Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.

Mixed metaphors