Author: Anonymous Page 32

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

A little pain never hurt anyone.

Miscellaneous

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

Discretion: When you are sure you are right and then ask your wife.

Definitions

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions

He’s like a duck out of water.

Mixed metaphors

Minister: A travel agent for the straight and narrow.

Definitions

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

“Your trousers have come apart!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

Tom Swifties

“Yes, we have no bananas,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors

“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

Tom Swifties

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

The fan is gonna hit the roof.

Mixed metaphors

Dirty laundry is coming home to roost.

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

“Congratulations; you graduated,” said Tom diplomatically.

Tom Swifties

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

Groan: An expression of appreciation for the horrible.

Communication Definitions Speech

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations