Author: Anonymous Page 33

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Optimist: An anti-skeptic.

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Never put all your eggs in one omelet.

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Second Place: The first loser.

“Eating uranium can cause strange effects,” said Tom brightly.

Busier than a puppy in room full of rubber balls.

He was bothered mentally mainly by the physical plague.

Beyond the question of a doubt

I would not trust him with a ten foot pole.

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

That room was so small you couldn’t cuss a cat without gettting fur in your mouth!

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

Make no delusions about the past!

So cross-eyed he could look at his own head.

She looks better goin than comin!

Genealogist: One who traces your family history back as far as your money will go.