Author: Anonymous Page 34

I'm sweating like a stuck pig.

Couldn't scratch his ass if he had a tiger in both hands.

He was a man of great statue.

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

“This is where I keep my arrows,” said Tom quiveringly.

Communism: The cause that suppresses.

Bank Robber: A guy who gets alarmed easily.

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

“Where’s my pants?” asked Tom briefly.

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

We wanted to help the indiguous people of the country.

It is so hot… by the time I got home from buying eggs, I had twelve chicks in the bag.

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

“I shall see to it well in advance,” said Tom tenderly.

“That just doesn’t add up,” said Tom, nonplussed.

Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.