Author: Anonymous Page 34

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

Tom Swifties

Did you watch the space shovel take off?

Malaprops

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Dictator: One who thinks he can take it – no matter to whom it belongs.

Definitions

So cross-eyed he could look at his own head.

Miscellaneous

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

“Pretend we were in the days before railways,” Tom coached.

Tom Swifties

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Intelligence Memory Past

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

He was recently diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

Health Malaprops

What a messy house. How can they live in such squander.

Malaprops

Money can't buy everything… but then again, neither can no money.

Money

They are crumbling at the seams.

Mixed metaphors

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Emotions Love Sex