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Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.

Definitions

She grabbed the bull by the tail and faced the problem squarely.

Mixed metaphors

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Thingy: Female Interpretation: Any part under a car’s hood; Male Interpretation: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

Definitions Men Things Women

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.

Definitions

Woman: A person who needs a shoe larger on the inside than outside.

Definitions People

“I got in through the window after opening it with a crowbar,” said Tom enterprisingly.

Tom Swifties

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

“I work at a bank,” said Tom tellingly.

Tom Swifties

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

He’s a bad influenza on me.

Malaprops

She is so stupid… she can’t make ice without a recipe.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.

Sex

“I think we were cheated,” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties