Author: Anonymous Page 36

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

Beliefs Expressions Honesty

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

You're sailing close to thin ice.

Mixed metaphors

You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!

Insults

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

Miscellaneous

Woman: A creature whom God made beautiful that man might love her, and unreasonable that she might love man.

Definitions People

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.

Definitions Emotions

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Definitions Work

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions

“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.

Tom Swifties

What are you incinerating?

Malaprops

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Definitions People

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Anger Characteristics Emotions

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

Life

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.

Definitions Things