Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 36
Autobiography: An I-witness account
Anonymous
Books
Communication
Definitions
People
Self
Autobiography
He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Expressions
Honesty
Behavior
Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.
Anonymous
Definitions
History
Occupations
Time
Work
Historian
You're sailing close to thin ice.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!
Anonymous
Insults
Spoonerism
Whining shit
The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Size
Woman: A creature whom God made beautiful that man might love her, and unreasonable that she might love man.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Woman
Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescence
It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Sympathy
Work: An unpopular way to earn money.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
Walking with your head between your legs.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.
Anonymous
Definitions
“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
What are you
incinerating?
Anonymous
Malaprops
Insinuating
I thought she had
persisted
from corresponding with him.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Desisted
Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Window Dresser
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Anonymous
Anger
Characteristics
Emotions
Depression
Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.
Anonymous
Life
Ass
She looks better goin than comin!
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Ugly
Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Heirloom
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