Author: Anonymous Page 36

Autobiography: An I-witness account

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

You're sailing close to thin ice.

You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

Woman: A creature whom God made beautiful that man might love her, and unreasonable that she might love man.

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.

Work: An unpopular way to earn money.

Walking with your head between your legs.

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.

What are you incinerating?

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

She looks better goin than comin!

Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.