Author: Anonymous Page 37

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Definitions

He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Mixed metaphors

The only man who can fool all the women all the time is a fashion designer.

Appearance Clothing People Women

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Tom Swifties

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? … because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Health

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.

Tom Swifties

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

I'm proud of my humility.

Characteristics

It would bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.

Mixed metaphors

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

They’re clearly up the creek without a leg to stand on

Mixed metaphors

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

Those two get on like a horse on fire.

Mixed metaphors

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops