Author: Anonymous Page 37

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Beliefs Proverbs

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

“Give me some Chinese food”, said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.

Mixed metaphors

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

This thing is snowballing like a house afire!

Mixed metaphors

He's like a cat out of water

Mixed metaphors

That sure did take the steam out of his sails.

Misspokements

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40, if it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

Things

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

Sex

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs