Author: Anonymous Page 38

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Definitions

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Conflict Crime People

Ventriloquist: A man with a dummy who always talks to himself.

Definitions

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

It will have a special time on our plate.

Misspokements

You are wise behind your ears.

Mixed metaphors

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

He was just a splash in the pan.

Mixed metaphors

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health

They need to wake up and smell the music.

Mixed metaphors

As Bob is my witless

Malaprops

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: never repeat yourself.

Miscellaneous

So crosseyed, she could look at her own head.

Appearance Expressions

“Once again, I read it on Wikipedia,” Tom recited.

Tom Swifties

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions