Author: Anonymous Page 38

You could have knocked me over with a fender.

Mixed metaphors

Gifted Children: Unfortunate tykes who lack the good sense to hide their talents from overly ambitious parents.

Definitions Family

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

Definitions Family

“Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles,” said Tom divertingly.

Tom Swifties

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.

Definitions People

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Double Jeopardy: When your doctor calls in a consulting physician.

Definitions Doctors Health

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

“I presented my case to the judge,” Tom said briefly.

Tom Swifties

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage