Author: Anonymous Page 39

Easy reading is damned hard writing.

Communication Reading/Writing

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

He was going to line up his ducks in a basket.

Mixed metaphors

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

Communication Definitions

She has a photogenic memory.

Malaprops Memory

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Situations

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

We are just scratching the tip of the iceberg.

Mixed metaphors

A bird in the hand is worth two in the tush.

Malaprops

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

An Englishman considers himself a self-made man, and thereby relieves the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.

England People Places

… prostate with grief

Malaprops

She knocked the socks off the ball.

Mixed metaphors

Reoriented: Sent back to China.

Definitions Wordplay

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

“Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge,” said Tom begrudgingly.

Tom Swifties