Author: Anonymous Page 39

Not enough to say grace over.

Expressions Food/Drink

Chicken: An egg's way of making more eggs.

Animals

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Miscellaneous

Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Definitions Money

He's got a face like the north end of a south bound cow.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

… one says to the other her mum had a cyst on on her aviary.

Health Malaprops

The beer flowed like wine.

Mixed metaphors

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Those two get on like a horse on fire.

Mixed metaphors

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

It's as dark as the inside of a cow.

Expressions

Vaccine: A microbe with his face washed.

Definitions Health

When I ask what time it is – I don't need to know how the watch is built.

Communication Expressions Speech

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Food/Drink Men People

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Both of my children had the chicken pops when they were young.

Health Malaprops

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

Hit the wall running…

Mixed metaphors

There are only two types of computers in the world: those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster.

Things Time