Author: Anonymous Page 39

Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Communication

There is no pancreas to the whole world's problems.

Malaprops

There are rules about riding a horse, but the horse won’t necessarily know them.

Animals

If you look like your passport photo, you’re too sick to travel.

Appearance

We’re on the same page length.

Mixed metaphors

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

“I invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.

Tom Swifties

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

He’s not only turning grey, he has a receiving hairline!

Malaprops

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention.

Definitions Health

“I think we were cheated,” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

Age Exaggerations Old

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

Let dead dogs sleep.

Mixed metaphors

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Communication

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat