Author: Anonymous Page 4

The father of the bride should realize he isn’t losing a daughter but gaining a bathroom.

Family Marriage

Run your kite up the flagpole

Mixed metaphors

It’s the best thing since sliced Spam.

Mixed metaphors

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Definitions

Babysitter: A teenager you hire to watch your TV.

Definitions

Surely we'll dig up the past, in order to bury the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

We need to sit down and walk through some things.

Mixed metaphors

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

Money roots out all evil.

Mixed metaphors

“The radio reception is much better now,” said Tom ecstatically.

Tom Swifties

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

“Yes, we have no bananas,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve mailed the letter,” Tom assented.

Tom Swifties

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

“Do you know the location?” asked Tom warily.

Tom Swifties

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

“I write elevator music,” Tom noted.

Tom Swifties

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

He’s like a duck out of water.

Mixed metaphors