Author: Anonymous Page 4

“Come up to my apartment,” Tom said flatly.

Tom Swifties

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

The wages of sin are unreported.

Government Taxes

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

If you let the cat out of the bag, how can you let sleeping dogs lie?

Mixed metaphors

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

“Fire!” yelled Tom alarmingly.

Tom Swifties

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

Cemetery: A place people are dying to get into.

Definitions

Men… you can’t live with them… you don’t have to.

Men People

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

Tom Swifties

It will be music to your wallet.

Mixed metaphors

Exaggeration: Formal term for a collection of fishermen (i.e. an exaggeration of anglers).

Activities Definitions Language

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

Activities Definitions

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health

Friend: A good friend is like a good bra… hard to find, supportive, comfortable, and always close to your heart.

Definitions Friends People

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

Traffic Light: A little green light that changes to red as your car approaches.

Autos Definitions Things

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

Miscellaneous

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors