Author: Anonymous Page 4

I rented The Cool Surface last week; words can't describe how awful it is. I'm a big Teri Hatcher fan, but a rental… is $2.75 thrown down the drain. Save your money by reading the attached plot synopsis: 
[WARNING: spoiler follows] Teri Hatcher has breasts. They look OK.

Reviews/Criticism

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

It's like pushing a rock upstream.

Mixed metaphors

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Beliefs

The mosquitoes in Louisiana are so big, they can stand flat foot and screw a chicken!

Animals Exaggerations

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

Borrower: A man who tries to live within your means.

Definitions

I'm sweating like a bullet.

Mixed metaphors

Luxury Resort: One where a waiter expects a $2 tip when he presents a $6 bill for serving a $3.50 bottle of beer.

Definitions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

… to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

Malaprops

“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

This is the problem we are wringing our hair over.

Mixed metaphors

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things