Author: Anonymous Page 40

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

“I wonder if I’d have better luck if I fished with a net,” Tom debated.

Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

“The door’s ajar,” said Tom openly.

Make like a tree and head out.

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

The crust of the problem

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.

Like having a large wardrobe fall on top of you with the key still in the lock.

“That little devil didn’t tell the truth,” Tom implied.

Once again, the Achilles' heel has reared its ugly head.

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

“The escaped prisoner is camping out in the woods,” said Tom contentedly.

Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Yodeling: Slope opera.

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.