Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 40
Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.
Anonymous
Girls
People
Wordplay
Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.
Anonymous
Definitions
Science/Weather
Seasons
Winter
The trouble with most marriages is after she says ‘I do’, she won’t.
Anonymous
Marriage
“I have a gift for you,” said Tom presently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Makeup: What it takes to look natural.
Anonymous
Appearance
Definitions
Makeup
We'd like a room with a southern
explosion.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Exposure
Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
“I hear a brook,” Tom babbled.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Proverbs
Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Anonymous
Definitions
Anoint
“No, I won’t give you a note saying you’re excused,” said Tom unwaveringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
Anonymous
Body
Cold
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Situations
X-rays
Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Middle age
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
Anonymous
Emotions
Love
Sex
Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
Anonymous
Beer
Food/Drink
Let sleeping
ducks
lie.
Anonymous
Animals
Dogs
Malaprops
“This is the wrong tree,” Tom barked, as he climbed up.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.
Anonymous
Problems
Things
Water nozzle
“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 40 of 161
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