Author: Anonymous Page 41

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Penis: The male organ used to write one’s name in snow.

Body Definitions Men

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

That guy in the White House, George Snuffleupagus.

Malaprops People

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

 “My parents are called Billy and Nanny,” Tom kidded.

Tom Swifties

Pedal stool.

Malaprops

It's clear to see who makes the pants here.

Malaprops Marriage

There is no indigestion worse that that which comes from having to eat your own words.

Communication

Conscience: A device that doesn’t keep you from doing anything – just keeps you from enjoying it.

Definitions

The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.

Fools Intelligence

Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

“This mental ward is busy,” said Tom crazily.

Tom Swifties

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Characteristics People

Breeding: Concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Definitions

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

You could have blown me over with a feather.

Misspokements

Fiddling with his guitar

Mixed metaphors

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.

Definitions Marriage Men People