Author: Anonymous Page 41

“Here is your hotdog,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

Before arguing with your boss, make absolutely sure you’re right – then let the matter drop.

Beliefs

“I won’t play for this team any longer,” Tom decided.

Tom Swifties

Credit: A commodity that becomes better the less it is used.

Definitions

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

He clams up tighter than a drum.

Mixed metaphors

“My bicycle wheel is melting,” Tom spoke softly.

Tom Swifties

Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Characteristics People Success

“This way to the seabird exhibit”, said Tom awkwardly.

Tom Swifties

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

They burnt the midnight candle to resolve the issues.

Mixed metaphors

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Time

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Definitions

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

“Would anyone like some Parmesan?” asked Tom gratingly.

Tom Swifties