Author: Anonymous Page 41

I shot the wind out of his saddle.

Mixed metaphors

Don’t eat with your mouth full!

Mixed metaphors

You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.

Insults

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Stomach: The home of the swallow.

Definitions

Diamond: A woman’s idea of a stepping stone to success.

Definitions Things

She plummeted the deaths of inequity.

Malaprops

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

“The sun is rising,” Tom mourned.

Tom Swifties

“I see,” said Tom icily.

Tom Swifties

He's so thin he had to stand twice in the same place to make a shadow.

Miscellaneous

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Cloud: What’s in front of every silver lining.

Definitions

Ventriloquist: A man with a dummy who always talks to himself.

Definitions

Woodpecker: A knocking bird.

Definitions

The world is your lobster.

Mixed metaphors

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence