Author: Anonymous Page 41

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Expert: A person who knows enough to complicate simple matters.

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

… forced to wade through a mountain of red tape

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Pregnancy: The shape of things to come.

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

He's trying to gain a foothold in the public eye.

“These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8,” said Tom bitingly.

Their relationship was purely plutonic.

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Good Neighbor: One who doesn’t borrow his garden hose back too often.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

It was time to get my act in gear.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

One hundred degrees better

Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for lunch.

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

He’s wearing a tomahawk haircut.

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.