Author: Anonymous Page 42

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

She looked gorgeous in her new dress – absolutely explicit.

Malaprops

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

Adam wasn’t always the brightest tool.

Mixed metaphors

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?

Mixed metaphors

Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

That’ll separate the men from the goats.

Mixed metaphors

Crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory

Expressions

Wound up tighter than an eight-day clock

Expressions

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

“Have some shampoo,” was Tom’s unconditional offer.

Tom Swifties

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

People

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Food/Drink Money Success

“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.

Tom Swifties

Diplomacy: The ability to take something and make the other fellow believe he is giving it away.

Definitions

Acme: Spots on the top of your head.

Definitions

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions