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Aftermath: The horrible headache you have when you’ve finished the algebra test.

Definitions

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Definitions Marriage

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

What a messy house. How can they live in such squander.

Malaprops

Scissors: A piece maker.

Definitions Things

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops

There's a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.

Mixed metaphors

“I can’t do it!” Tom said notably.

Tom Swifties

It's time to swallow the bullet.

Mixed metaphors

Poise: The act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.

Definitions

You have to walk before you can swim.

Mixed metaphors

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

Opportunist: A person who, finding himself in hot water, decides he needs a bath anyway.

Definitions Situations

Afterthought: A tardy sense of prudence that prompts one to try to shut his mouth about the time he has put his foot in it.

Definitions

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

Microsoft™ is thoroughly dropping the ball on that front.

Mixed metaphors