Author: Anonymous Page 43

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

Politics: Where people work hard to get a job and do nothing after they get it.

Definitions Government Politics

As useless as a pocket on a cow

Expressions

“I can talk faster than you,” Tom expressed.

Tom Swifties

“I’m not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting,” said Michelangelo insistently.

Tom Swifties

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Sometimes they bite the farm.

Mixed metaphors

Running around like a chicken with its legs cut off

Mixed metaphors

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops

“Why don’t you have some fruit?”, asked Tom with aplomb.

Tom Swifties

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

Problems Situations

It's a long road to hoe

Malaprops

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Mixed metaphors

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

“I’m just an ordinary soldier,” Tom admitted privately.

Tom Swifties

He was going to line up his ducks in a basket.

Mixed metaphors

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Mixed metaphors