Author: Anonymous Page 43

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Traffic Light: A little green light that changes to red as your car approaches.

Autos Definitions Things

“I ain’t afraid of those white men,” said Cochise bravely.

Tom Swifties

“Yes, I’m amazingly strongly built,” said Tom soberly.

Tom Swifties

“That little devil didn’t tell the truth,” Tom implied.

Tom Swifties

“I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner,” said Tom succinctly.

Tom Swifties

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

“Angel dust? Me? Never touch it!” Tom snorted.

Tom Swifties

“I don’t like this Chardonnay,” Tom whined.

Tom Swifties

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

Appearance Definitions

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Distant Relative: One who can be very distant – especially when he has lots of money.

Definitions Family

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

“I’ve an urgent appointment,” said Tom in Russian.

Tom Swifties

Castration: A eunuch experience.

Definitions Wordplay

… one says to the other her mum had a cyst on on her aviary.

Health Malaprops

Zebra: A horse behind bars.

Animals Definitions