Author: Anonymous Page 43

“I swallowed some of the glass from that broken window,” Tom said painfully.

Tom Swifties

“The average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz,” said Tom in measured tones.

Tom Swifties

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.

Characteristics Definitions

I dropped the toothpaste,” said Tom, crestfallen.

Tom Swifties

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

“Oops, I’ve ripped my pants!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

Tom Swifties

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

There are three kinds of people… those who can count & those who can't.

People

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Time may be a great healer, but’s it’s a lousy beautician.

Appearance Health Time

“I got in through the window after opening it with a crowbar,” said Tom enterprisingly.

Tom Swifties

“I ain’t afraid of those white men,” said Cochise bravely.

Tom Swifties

… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.

Mixed metaphors

Money isn’t everything: usually it isn’t enough.

Money