Author: Anonymous Page 44

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Situations

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

Kicking off the hockey season

Mixed metaphors

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

“Watch out for that broken glass!” she said sharply.

Tom Swifties

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

Great American: What speakers call a man when they can’t think of anything specifically complimentary to say.

Definitions

The whole ball of worms

Malaprops

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.

Definitions

“Wool is better than cotton,” Tom said sheepishly.

Tom Swifties

He's really low dog on the totem pole.

Mixed metaphors

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

John Hurt looks like Joan of Arc, after she's burnt at stake.

Appearance Insults

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

“Getting rid of acid is easy,” said Tom basically.

Tom Swifties

The only man who can fool all the women all the time is a fashion designer.

Appearance Clothing People Women