Author: Anonymous Page 45

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men People

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

Misspokements

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Deluxe: Mediocre in a big way.

Definitions

We drove a stake in the stand.

Misspokements

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

Characteristics

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

America Food/Drink Places

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Beliefs Communication Language

“I wouldn’t like anything but just that,” said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties

We'll be there until the fat lady freezes over.

Mixed metaphors

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Definitions Food/Drink

The United Nations is a good idea, but it’s a pity they have to have so many foreigners in it.

Government People

“I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I’ve only ten left,” said Tom with fortitude.

Tom Swifties

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

Definitions People Wordplay

She grabbed the bull by the tail and faced the problem squarely.

Mixed metaphors

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

“I’ve borrowed my sister’s camping gear,” said Tom insistently.

Tom Swifties

“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.

Tom Swifties

Amusement Park: A walled city populated mainly by teenagers, who willingly pay to have their bodies and brains agitated on a variety of fiendish contraptions designed to induce vomiting.

Definitions