Author: Anonymous Page 46

Jesus loves him, but he is the only one.

Expressions

We drove a stake in the stand.

Misspokements

Propaganda: Patriotism as practiced by our enemies.

Communication Definitions

Beauty: The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Appearance Definitions

“Fire!” yelled Tom alarmingly.

Tom Swifties

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

“So only one person arrived at the party before I did?” Tom second-guessed.

Tom Swifties

“2 bdrm furn w 5 appl”, said Tom aptly.

Tom Swifties

“I have to wear this cast for another six weeks,” said Tom disjointedly.

Tom Swifties

She is so fat… she can't even jump to conclusions.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Charm: The ability to make someone think that both of you are wonderful.

Characteristics Definitions

Right between the nose

Mixed metaphors

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Men People

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Definitions

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Tom Swifties

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

“There must be a power cut,” said Tom delightedly.

Tom Swifties