Author: Anonymous Page 47

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Mixed metaphors

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

Tom Swifties

It sent goosebumps up my spine.

Mixed metaphors

Fobia: The fear of misspelled words.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

What a terrible cat's after me!

Malaprops

If you teach a snake to fish, you can lead it to water but it won't drink..

Mixed metaphors

Many nations adopt a tit for tit policy.

Malaprops

Moss never grows on a fish out of water.

Mixed metaphors

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

Miscellaneous

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Situations

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

Let's do this in one foul sweep.

Malaprops

A drowning man is not troubled by rain.

People Problems

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Definitions

You could have knocked me over with a fender.

Mixed metaphors

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

“Yes, we have no bananas,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat