Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 48
Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Wordplay
Rattlesnake
Long road to hoe.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
It dawned across my head.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Don’t be discouraged if your children reject your advice; years later they will offer it to
their
offspring.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Children
Family
Opinion
Advice
Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Abdicate
They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Urinal
He is so ugly… the psychiatrist makes him lie face down.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
They burnt the midnight candle to resolve the issues.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.
Anonymous
Definitions
Life
Taxes
IRS
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
Anonymous
Emotions
Love
Sex
“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
War is hell on wheels.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Even a spotted pig looks black at night.
Anonymous
Expressions
Situations
Things will look better in the morning
We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Dreams do come
through.
Anonymous
Malaprops
True
“Aha! Here’s someone who can’t speak!” exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.
Anonymous
Definitions
Babysitter
Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.
Anonymous
Definitions
Travel Brochure
Realtor: A man with lots to sell.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Wordplay
Realtor
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