Author: Anonymous Page 48

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Long road to hoe.

It dawned across my head.

Don’t be discouraged if your children reject your advice; years later they will offer it to their offspring.

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

He is so ugly… the psychiatrist makes him lie face down.

Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.

They burnt the midnight candle to resolve the issues.

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

War is hell on wheels.

Even a spotted pig looks black at night.

We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.

Dreams do come through.

“Aha! Here’s someone who can’t speak!” exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.

Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.