Author: Anonymous Page 49

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

That's a huge weight lifted off my head.

Mixed metaphors

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

“These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8,” said Tom bitingly.

Tom Swifties

I'm feeling lack-a-daisy today.

Malaprops

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

Definitions Money

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Nail our fingers to the mast

Mixed metaphors

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

Malaprops

Life is a box of cherries.

Mixed metaphors

“I can take photographs if I want to!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

“I just bought a woollen sweater,” said Tom sheepishly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

Window Screen: A device for keeping flies in the house.

Definitions Things

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

You can’t have your hill and die on it too.

Mixed metaphors

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

Definitions Wordplay

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions