Author: Anonymous Page 5

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

“It’s only average,” said Tom meanly.

Tom Swifties

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

Don't mind me, I'm just a mouse on the wall.

Mixed metaphors

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Government Politics

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions

Keep your ear to the grapevine.

Mixed metaphors

Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.

Definitions

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

“Don’t call me a oddball,” Tom replied evenly.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve removed all the feathers from this chicken,” said Tom pluckily.

Tom Swifties

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

The head of the body overseeing youth justice…

Mixed metaphors

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

This is an awfully big elephant to eat.

Mixed metaphors

“Are you all governors?” Tom asked, bored.

Tom Swifties

“Watch this insect sail through the air,” said Tom flippantly.

Tom Swifties

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Beliefs Sex

He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.

Beliefs Opinion