Author: Anonymous Page 5

“That city will never be rebuilt,” the prophets babble on.


Tom Swifties

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Husband: A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

Definitions Marriage

“Everything Albert says is so obvious”, said Tom altruistically.

Tom Swifties

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

“Sesame,” said Tom openly.

Tom Swifties

Traffic Light: A trick to get pedestrians halfway across the street safely.

Autos Definitions Things

Houseplants: Vegetable companions.

Definitions

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

It is so flat, you can stand on a milk crate and watch your dog run away for three days.

Expressions Places

I have taken many of God's blessings for granite.

Malaprops

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Clothing Definitions

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Divorce: A splitting headache.

Definitions Divorce Marriage