Author: Anonymous Page 5

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

Tom Swifties

Go ahead, spew it off your chest.

Misspokements

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Definitions

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

That e-mail was from Ann On.

Misspokements

He was shaking like a 50¢ ladder.

Expressions

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

“Sesame,” said Tom openly.

Tom Swifties

Grandmother: A babysitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

Definitions Family

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Running around like children with their heads cut off

Mixed metaphors

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Definitions

You’re prettier than a spotted heifer in a pansy patch!

Appearance Expressions

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

“Your trousers have come apart!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

Tom Swifties

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Mixed metaphors

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

… since God's dog was a pup

Expressions Past Time