Author: Anonymous Page 5

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

Go ahead, spew it off your chest.

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

That e-mail was from Ann On.

He was shaking like a 50¢ ladder.

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

“Sesame,” said Tom openly.

Grandmother: A babysitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Running around like children with their heads cut off

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

You’re prettier than a spotted heifer in a pansy patch!

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

“Your trousers have come apart!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

… since God's dog was a pup