Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 5
Wedding License: A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Wedding License
Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.
Anonymous
Conflict
Crime
Definitions
Shoplifter
The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their
own
pockets.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
You'll get into hot water skating on thin ice!
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Cat bathing is a martial art.
Anonymous
Animals
Cats
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Eating
Food/Drink
Chickens
Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bliss
Up a tree without a paddle
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Acme: Spots on the top of your head.
Anonymous
Definitions
Acme
Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Parking Space
“I’ve still got two fingers left,” said Tom handsomely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.
Anonymous
Definitions
Time
Father’s Day
Holidays
We need to sit down and walk through some things.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Oxymorons
She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.
Anonymous
Expressions
Food/Drink
Frugal
Money
Pancakes
“I don’t know any shanties,” said Tom unceasingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
That'll stick out like a red herring.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Miser
That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.
Anonymous
Animals
Characteristics
Dogs
Expressions
“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 5 of 161
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