Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 50
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Anonymous
Situations
Opportunity
Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Toastmaster
What in the Sam Hill are you doing?
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
A mild oath
Other expressions
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Anonymous
Communication
Language
Phonetic
Spelling
Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fable
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
Anonymous
Situations
Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Fishing
Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Hobby
She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.
Anonymous
Age
Exaggerations
Old
Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Banker
Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Wordplay
Giraffe
The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.
Anonymous
Children
Family
Boys
It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
The only man who can fool all the women all the time is a fashion designer.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
People
Women
Fashion designers
It’s like watching wallpaper dry.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Boredom
He's a pretty sharp cookie.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Occupations
Chiropodist
Those people all
corregated
over there.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Congregated
Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.
Anonymous
Definitions
Adam’s Rib
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Shoes
Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Teenagers
Page 50 of 161
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