Author: Anonymous Page 50

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

The only man who can fool all the women all the time is a fashion designer.

It’s like watching wallpaper dry.

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Those people all corregated over there.

Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.