Author: Anonymous Page 50

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

Even a spotted pig looks black at night.

Expressions Situations

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Beliefs Opinion

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

handle him with kids’ gloves

Malaprops

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

It would bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve stuck a pin through my nose,” said Tom punctually.

Tom Swifties

I'm going to the store to buy a soup latrine.

Malaprops

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

We are tipping the iceberg.

Mixed metaphors

Good punctuation means not to be late.

Malaprops Time

Logic: The art of going wrong with confidence.

Definitions

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

Tom Swifties