Author: Anonymous Page 51

Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

Definitions Intelligence

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

Tom Swifties

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions

… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.

Mixed metaphors

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

Communication Wordplay

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

That's a hard bubble to crack.

Mixed metaphors

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Government Politics

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Let's bury this dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Health Malaprops

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay