Author: Anonymous Page 51

Family Planning: Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters.

Children Definitions Family

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

Definitions

Kill two cats with one bag.

Mixed metaphors

What comes around, is all around.

Malaprops

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

Newspaper: A publication that condemns gambling and promotes lottery numbers.

Definitions

The squeaky wheel wins.

Mixed metaphors

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

He really grates me up the wrong way.

Mixed metaphors

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

The difference between bagpipes and an onion is that nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

Situations

The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.

Beliefs Opinion

Dime: A dollar with all the taxes taken out.

Definitions Money

Lets see who takes the bite on that.

Mixed metaphors

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Fools Intelligence

Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron

Mixed metaphors

I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optometrist.

Malaprops

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

Age Definitions