Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 51
Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
Learned Fool
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Anonymous
Communication
Language
“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Fat: Energy gone to waist.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Definitions
Fat
Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.
Anonymous
Definitions
Communist
… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!
Anonymous
Communication
Wordplay
Walls
“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Choir
That's a hard bubble to crack.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Censorship: The power of the suppress.
Anonymous
Communication
Wordplay
Censorship
Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Shopping
Things
Rummage Sale
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Anonymous
Government
Politics
Principles
The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.
Anonymous
Golf
Sports
Credited to many
Swearing
Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.
Anonymous
Dating
Definitions
Relationships
Blind Date
Let's bury this dead horse.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
He once had a unbiblical hernia.
Anonymous
Health
Malaprops
Inguinal Hernia
Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.
Anonymous
Science/Weather
Wordplay
Archaeology
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Anonymous
Autos
Husbands
Marriage
Wives
Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Wordplay
Urinalysis:The
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