Author: Anonymous Page 51

You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.

Expressions

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

Tom Swifties

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

“I wrote the book on that subject”, said Tom authoritatively.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel.

Malaprops

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

Golf Sports

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

Definitions Health

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors

Does a fat boy like cake.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

Bury it under the carpet

Mixed metaphors

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

“Nay!” said Tom hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

Mixed metaphors

She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.

Appearance Body Expressions