Author: Anonymous Page 51

You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

“I wrote the book on that subject”, said Tom authoritatively.

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel.

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Does a fat boy like cake.

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

Bury it under the carpet

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

“Nay!” said Tom hoarsely.

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.