Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 51
You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.
Anonymous
Expressions
Charm
Pleasing
“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Hypochondriac
“I wrote the book on that subject”, said Tom authoritatively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the
Sixteenth
Chapel.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Sistine
Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.
Anonymous
Golf
Sports
Golf clubs
CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
CPR
Center Of Mass: The Priest.
Anonymous
Definitions
Center Of Mass
Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Delayed Payment
I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Does a fat boy like cake.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Fat
Obviously
Of course
Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.
Anonymous
Definitions
Yardstick
“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Bury it under the carpet
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.
Anonymous
Definitions
I.O.U.
“Nay!” said Tom hoarsely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Dogs
I am having an out-of-money experience.
Anonymous
Communication
Wordplay
Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Thin
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