Author: Anonymous Page 51

Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

That's a hard bubble to crack.

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Let's bury this dead horse.

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.