Author: Anonymous Page 51

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

“I’ve gained thirty pounds,” said Tom heavily.

Tom Swifties

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

[a rock group’s] authenticity strikes a chord with fans.

Mixed metaphors

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

“The average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz,” said Tom in measured tones.

Tom Swifties

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Let's call the kettle what it is!

Mixed metaphors

Too many skeletons in her background

Mixed metaphors

“Emily has put on weight,” said Tom emphatically.

Tom Swifties

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.

Emotions Laughter

… to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

Malaprops

Seamstress: 250 pounds in a size 6.

Appearance Definitions Fat

“This wind is awful,” blustered Tom.

Tom Swifties

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time