Author: Anonymous Page 53

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

Definitions

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Definitions People

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.

Tom Swifties

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Definitions

He came out of it smelling like a bandit.

Mixed metaphors

“My fellow Americans,” boomed Ronald Reagan, “I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever…”

Tom Swifties

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

Characteristics

Dandruff: Chips off the old block.

Definitions

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

Definitions Work

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

“My wife is cheating on me,” Tom cackled.

Tom Swifties

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

“I can talk faster than you,” Tom expressed.

Tom Swifties

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Mixed metaphors

You've put your finger right on the nail.

Mixed metaphors

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money