Author: Anonymous Page 53

“I feel so empty,” said Tom vacuously.

Tom Swifties

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Homosexual: A man’s man.

Definitions Men

The lining's always more silver on the other side of the cloud.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Get the kinks rolling

Mixed metaphors

“Consult an investment broker,” was Tom’s stock answer.

Tom Swifties

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

“I admire East End gangsters,” said Tom crazily.

Tom Swifties

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth

She has a photogenic memory.

Malaprops Memory

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

Mixed metaphors

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

I resemble that remark!

Malaprops

The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be distorted!

Appearance Malaprops

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Intelligence Stupidity