Author: Anonymous Page 53

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Definitions

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Definitions

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

Growing up the trellis were pink and yellow concubines.

Malaprops

“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.

Tom Swifties

“I have no recollection of the last twenty-four hours,” said Tom lackadaisically.

Tom Swifties

He could sell socks to a rooster.

Communication Expressions

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

Let’s split the baby with the bathwater.

Mixed metaphors

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

“The exit is right there,” Tom pointed out.

Tom Swifties

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

Contract: An agreement to do something if nothing happens to prevent it.

Definitions

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

“This Bud’s for you,” said Tom lightly.

Tom Swifties

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

“Your fly is undone,” was Tom’s zippy rejoinder.

Tom Swifties

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School