Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 54
Take the ball by the horns and run with it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Toothache
Applause before a speaker begins his talk is an act of faith; applause during the speech is an act of hope; applause after he has concluded is an act of charity.
Anonymous
Communication
Speech
Applause
Absence makes the heart go wander.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Grow fonder
Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.
Anonymous
Definitions
Acoustic
Run your kite up the flagpole
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Igloo: An icicle built for two.
Anonymous
Definitions
Igloo
The fights you avoid do you far more good than the ones you will win.
Anonymous
Conflict
Fights
Proverbs
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
Anonymous
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Sex
Leftovers: Repast history.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Leftovers
“I haven’t had my photographs developed yet,” said Tom negatively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
This will help us to know that we are covering all of the gamuts.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.
Anonymous
Definitions
Husbands
Marriage
Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.
Anonymous
Definitions
Black Eye
I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
Anonymous
Communication
Language
Money
The most important decision is that of
excepting
Jesus in your life.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Accepting
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Doubt
Oxymorons
Agreeable Person: One who agrees with me.
Anonymous
Definitions
Agreeable Person
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars
Anonymous
Men
People
Women
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Anonymous
Problems
Situations
Ears
Mouth
Trouble
Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Games
Strip Poker
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