Author: Anonymous Page 54

“I wish I could remember the name of that card game,” said Tom wistfully.

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

If you could get it working I'd be internally grateful.

“Let’s take a vacation in the south of France,” said Tom nicely.

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

Long road to hoe.

If you let the cat out of the bag, how can you let sleeping dogs lie?

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labor.

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Kill two birds with one egg

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

“Do you buy and sell stolen goods?” asked Tom offensively.

Deep pockets… short arms

Isn't that an expensive pendulum round that woman's neck?

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

“I think I’ve broken my leg ”, reported Tom lamely.