Author: Anonymous Page 54

Jesus loves him, but he is the only one.

Expressions

“I pulled a hamstring,” said Tom limply.

Tom Swifties

“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.

Tom Swifties

You’ve really put your finger on the nail there.

Mixed metaphors

“Perhaps I will,” said Tom with all his might.

Tom Swifties

This thing is snowballing like a house afire!

Mixed metaphors

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

Tom Swifties

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.

Definitions

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

Definitions Sex

Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.

Communication Definitions Language

He's grinning like a mule eating briars.

Appearance Emotions Expressions Happiness

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Flashlight: A case for storing dead batteries.

Definitions Things

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Definitions

That room was so small you couldn’t cuss a cat without gettting fur in your mouth!

Expressions

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Definitions

By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.

Age Old Situations

[Marriage] is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Marriage

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties