Author: Anonymous Page 54

I've been up and down like a light switch.

Mixed metaphors

Grasping at the straw that broke the camel's back

Mixed metaphors

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay

“I’m mentioned in this book,” said Tom contentedly.

Tom Swifties

It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

Homosexual: A man’s man.

Definitions Men

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops

After-Dinner Speaker: A person who only has a few words to say, but seldom stops when he has said them.

Definitions

“It only looks like cocaine,” Tom snorted.

Tom Swifties

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

We had a longer holiday than usual this year because the school was closed for altercations.

Malaprops

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night… Mendelsson lost.

Entertainment Music

A loose tongue spoils the broth.

Mixed metaphors

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Definitions

Chance: The pseudonym of God when he does not want to sign.

Definitions

“I have to check the score on this exam again,” Tom remarked.

Tom Swifties