Author: Anonymous Page 55

“Melinda broke my heart,” Tom said half-heartedly.

Tom Swifties

I dropped the toothpaste,” said Tom, crestfallen.

Tom Swifties

She’s so stupid… if you give her a penny for her thoughts, you'll get change back.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

You hit the nail on the dot.

Mixed metaphors

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties

An ideal mind is the devil's playground.

Misspokements

“Dorothy, if you’re going to Oz again, I’m going with you,” Em barked.

Tom Swifties

Bureaucracy is based on a willingness to either pass the buck or spend it.

Government

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

His head is so big… he has to step into his shirts.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

We'll be there until the fat lady freezes over.

Mixed metaphors

“I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.

Tom Swifties

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

The fights you avoid do you far more good than the ones you will win.

Conflict Fights Proverbs

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Murphy’s Laws Situations