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Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Tom Swifties

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Characteristics

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

Definitions

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

Miscellaneous

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

The flood damage was so bad they had to evaporate the city.

Malaprops

A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.

Problems Things

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

Intelligence

Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.

Mixed metaphors

Communism: The cause that suppresses.

Definitions

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Beliefs Opinion

The whole can of wax

Mixed metaphors

Waffle: A pancake with a nonskid tread.

Definitions Food/Drink

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions