Author: Anonymous Page 56

Waddya expect him to say, entray voose?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

I suffer from a deviant septum.

It will have a special time on our plate.

Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

“That’s nothing!” said Tom naughtily.

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

“I insist on naming the first male insect”, said Tom adamantly.

“That’s already been taken care of,” Tom pretended.

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Don’t cast swine before bears.

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Take time to stop and smell the tunnel at the end of the rainbow.

Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty.

If a job’s worth doing, make sure you delegate it to the right person.