Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 56
Alone… in bad company
Anonymous
Insults
Dieting is not a piece of cake.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Diets
X: The signature of a happy man.
Anonymous
Definitions
Signature
X
Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Arthritis
This will help us to know that we are covering all of the gamuts.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
I got a run in my
neon
stockings.
Anonymous
Clothing
Malaprops
Nylon
When arguing with a stupid person, be sure he isn’t doing the same thing.
Anonymous
Fools
Intelligence
That man is a real charmer, a regular Don
Coyote.
Anonymous
Malaprops
People
Quixote
Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Experience
Aardvark: In the beginning was the word. And the word was ‘Aardvark.’
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Language
Aardvark
Words
Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Everyone gets lucky sometimes.
Luck
Other expressions
Teachers: United Mind Workers.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
Wordplay
What a terrible
cat's after me!
Anonymous
Malaprops
Catastrophe
He's the
pineapple
of politeness.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Pinnacle
Politeness
He had to use a fire
distinguisher.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Extinguisher
“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I thought she had
persisted
from corresponding with him.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Desisted
“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now.
Anonymous
Situations
Kissing
Lips
Clearly we’ve opened a Pandora’s box of worms here.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Exercise: The joy of flex.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Exercise
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