Author: Anonymous Page 56

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

It’s all water under the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Tom Swifties

Enema: Not a friend.

Definitions

“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.

Tom Swifties

Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.

Definitions

“Are you all governors?” Tom asked, bored.

Tom Swifties

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

“You’re busted!” said the policeman to Miss Parton.

Tom Swifties

It is so flat, you can stand on a milk crate and watch your dog run away for three days.

Expressions Places

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Definitions Occupations Reviews/Criticism

.. drawing the eye… like a magnet

Mixed metaphors

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

The whole ball of worms

Malaprops