Author: Anonymous Page 57

Once again, the Achilles' heel has reared its ugly head.

Mixed metaphors

Philanthropist: One who gives away what he should give back.

Definitions

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

What’s needed in government is more horse sense and less nonsense.

Government

Beauty: The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Appearance Definitions

“Here’s your allowance for the next two weeks,” Tom advanced.

Tom Swifties

Brilliant sunshine rained down on the city.

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

“You dance just like Fred Astaire,” she said gingerly.

Tom Swifties

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Definitions

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

Definitions Money

Great American: What speakers call a man when they can’t think of anything specifically complimentary to say.

Definitions

I like a lot of partisan cheese on my pizza.

Food/Drink Malaprops

Microsoft™ is thoroughly dropping the ball on that front.

Mixed metaphors

Automation has opened up a whole new field of unemployment.

Situations Work

One good thing about apathy is you don’t have to exert yourself to show you’re sincere about it.

Characteristics

Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Definitions

You’d be a overweight neurotic fighter too if your name was Shirley Crabtree.

Sports

Apologize: To repeat an insult with variations.

Definitions

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

He was a very immortal person.

Characteristics Malaprops