Author: Anonymous Page 57

I shot the wind out of his saddle.

Mixed metaphors

I dropped the toothpaste,” said Tom, crestfallen.

Tom Swifties

It's so flat you can look down the road and see the back of your head!

Expressions Places

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

Definitions

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.

Definitions

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Death is nature’s way of saying “Howdy.”

Death

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

“Sorry about that butt call,” he said cheekily.

Tom Swifties

99 times out of ten, that's what you'll get.

Mixed metaphors

Both of my children had the chicken pops when they were young.

Health Malaprops

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions

“The stock market’s going up,” said Tom bullishly.

Tom Swifties

Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

Books Communication

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Traffic Light: A trick to get pedestrians halfway across the street safely.

Autos Definitions Things

I can syncronize with those homeless people.

Malaprops

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations