Author: Anonymous Page 57

It dawned across my head.

Mixed metaphors

Virtue: Insufficient temptation.

Characteristics Definitions

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swifties

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

Definitions

Let’s go to lunch, I'm emancipated!

Food/Drink Malaprops

Contract: An agreement to do something if nothing happens to prevent it.

Definitions

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

I will be brief… not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech; he said 'I will be so brief I have already finished,' and he sat down."

Communication Speech

He received a decease and desist order.

Malaprops

Cemetery: An isolated spot, usually in a suburb, where mourners swap lies.

Definitions

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

“I invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.

Tom Swifties

Love: Oceans of emotions surrounded by expanses of expenses.

Definitions Emotions Love

It's all Greek to a blind horse.

Mixed metaphors

I'm tired of walking on kid gloves.

Mixed metaphors

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

Diaper: A bum wrap.

Definitions

He was just a splash in the pan.

Mixed metaphors

“This is the wrong tree,” Tom barked, as he climbed up.

Tom Swifties