Author: Anonymous Page 58

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties

.. drawing the eye… like a magnet

Mixed metaphors

Donation: A country full of female deer.

Definitions

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.

England

“I can’t march any more!” the soldier called haltingly.

Tom Swifties

Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.

Characteristics Definitions

Dirty laundry is coming home to roost.

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

Do you follow where I'm coming from?

Mixed metaphors Understanding

Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

“I told you not to ride that horse,” Tom nagged.

Tom Swifties

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

Tom Swifties

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

People

I'm traveling incoherent.

Malaprops

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

That man is a real charmer, a regular Don Coyote.

Malaprops People

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Death is nature’s way of saying “Howdy.”

Death