Author: Anonymous Page 58

Life is a box of cherries.

Mixed metaphors

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

She was drop down gorgeous.

Mixed metaphors

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Appearance Clothing

Once again, the Achilles' heel has reared its ugly head.

Mixed metaphors

That's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.

Mixed metaphors

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

A salesman told viewers that a keyboard would teach your mind's eye to play by ear.

Mixed metaphors

“My pencil is blunt,” said Tom pointlessly.

Tom Swifties

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

“Getting rid of acid is easy,” said Tom basically.

Tom Swifties

The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be distorted!

Appearance Malaprops

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Man was predestined to have free will.

Miscellaneous