Author: Anonymous Page 58

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

He ran a cottage industry from his garden shed.

Mixed metaphors

One good thing about apathy is you don’t have to exert yourself to show you’re sincere about it.

Characteristics

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Life Proverbs

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

Streams of pilgrims, old and young… flood towards the river to worship.

Mixed metaphors

Can a one-legged duck swim in a circle?

Expressions

“It’s homemade soup,” said Tom uncannily.

Tom Swifties

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

She really stuck her neck out on a limb.

Mixed metaphors

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Desertion: The poor man’s divorce.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Characteristics

“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.

Tom Swifties

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Communication Language

“Congratulations; you graduated,” said Tom diplomatically.

Tom Swifties

Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time