Author: Anonymous Page 58

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

“If I die, you get everything,” said Tom willingly.

Tom Swifties

Apathy: Vigor mortis.

Definitions

“Have you seen my collection of ancient Chinese artifacts?” asked Tom charmingly.

Tom Swifties

The titles are listed on the movie theater marquis.

Entertainment Malaprops

She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

Appearance Body Expressions

“There’s no place for the kitchen sink,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Remember Pearl Island.

Malaprops Places

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Definitions Emotions Happiness Sex

It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.

Mixed metaphors

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

We all have our own legs to pull.

Mixed metaphors

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Murphy’s Laws Success Things

They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.

Mixed metaphors

Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.

Definitions

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

Definitions