Author: Anonymous Page 59

He’s still green behind the ears.

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why doctors wear masks in the operating room.

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Make like a tree and head out.

“The radio reception is much better now,” said Tom ecstatically.

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

“I am removing the lining of my gloves,” Tom deferred.

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

He knew how to butter his nest.

I’m gonna dig in my feet on this one.

“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.

“I only use one herb when I cook,” said Tom sagely.

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.