Author: Anonymous Page 59

He’s still green behind the ears.

Mixed metaphors

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

Tom Swifties

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why doctors wear masks in the operating room.

Doctors Health

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

Tom Swifties

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Tom Swifties

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

“The radio reception is much better now,” said Tom ecstatically.

Tom Swifties

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

“I am removing the lining of my gloves,” Tom deferred.

Tom Swifties

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

He knew how to butter his nest.

Mixed metaphors

I’m gonna dig in my feet on this one.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.

Mixed metaphors

“I only use one herb when I cook,” said Tom sagely.

Tom Swifties

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.

Tom Swifties