Author: Anonymous Page 59

Forger: The man who gives a check a bad name.

Definitions

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

Communication Speech

Look what the cat dragged out of the bag.

Mixed metaphors

Lets see who takes the bite on that.

Mixed metaphors

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink

“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.

Tom Swifties

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

Doughnut: Holey food.

Definitions Food/Drink

It looks like the cows have come home to roost.

Mixed metaphors

It is better to be on penicillin, than never to have loved at all.

Emotions Love

I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.

Characteristics

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

Characteristics People

“I insist on naming the first male insect”, said Tom adamantly.

Tom Swifties

“The policeman charged me twenty bucks for speeding,” said Tom finally.

Tom Swifties

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Beliefs Intelligence Proverbs Understanding

“I hear a brook,” Tom babbled.

Tom Swifties

“Look at my shiny kitchen floor”, said Tom, waxing enthusiastic.

Tom Swifties