Author: Anonymous Page 59

They're a legend before their time.

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

A bird in the hand is mightier than the sword.

“You don’t see the point, do you?” asked Tom, stabbing in the dark.

She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

The shit’s gonna hit the stick.

But I don't have an intricate relationship with it.

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Some folks are so highly educated they can bore you on any subject.

“This boat leaks,” said Tom balefully.

I'm proud of my humility.

Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

“I’m about to hit the golf ball,” Tom forewarned.

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

“Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?” asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Damp weather is very hard on the sciences.

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.