Author: Anonymous Page 59

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

John Hurt looks like Joan of Arc, after she's burnt at stake.

Appearance Insults

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

“I pulled a hamstring,” said Tom limply.

Tom Swifties

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

“I won’t play for this team any longer,” Tom decided.

Tom Swifties

His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Time

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

Activities Definitions

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

He's not the brightest cookie in the lamp.

Mixed metaphors

That'll stick out like a red herring.

Mixed metaphors

Delivering her baby at home is the birthright of every woman.

Mixed metaphors

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Wood fires help fuel climate change.

Mixed metaphors

“Watch this insect sail through the air,” said Tom flippantly.

Tom Swifties