Author: Anonymous Page 6

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Taking the bull with both feet

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod… spare the child.

Appendix: A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

Cross-Eyed Teacher: A teacher that loses control over his or her pupils.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Kicking off the hockey season

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

If you are riding a high horse, there ain’t no way to get down off it gracefully.

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

Patience: The quality you admire in the driver behind you but can’t stand in the driver who’s in front of you.

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Keep your ear to the grindstone.

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention.

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

You must have ears like an eagle.