Author: Anonymous Page 60

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

My purses were selling like wild cakes.

Mixed metaphors

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

I've been up and down like a light switch.

Mixed metaphors

One hundred degrees better

Mixed metaphors

Hula Dancer: A shake in the grass.

Definitions

“Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now,” said Tom conceitedly.

Tom Swifties

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

It's a big nut to swallow.

Mixed metaphors

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

B Flat: An apiary.

Definitions

“I think I’ll use a different font,” said Tom boldly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting,” said Michelangelo insistently.

Tom Swifties

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay