Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 60
Disinheritance: Heir cut.
Anonymous
Definitions
Disinheritance
“You dance just like Fred Astaire,” she said gingerly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
Anonymous
Definitions
Husbands
Marriage
I looked to see what I could hear.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.
Anonymous
Definitions
Chaperoning
Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.
Anonymous
Definitions
Yardstick
Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.
Anonymous
Age
Adolescence
An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Food/Drink
People
Drunk
Irish
If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Wishes
“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
You've buttered your bread, now lie in it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
School
Graduate school
Guest towel: A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Guest towel
G String: Gownless evening strap.
Anonymous
Clothing
Definitions
G string
Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.
Anonymous
Definitions
Shopping
Consumer
Adage: To become older.
Anonymous
Definitions
Adage
“I invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Expressions
Honesty
Unethical
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