Author: Anonymous Page 60

Disinheritance: Heir cut.

Definitions

“You dance just like Fred Astaire,” she said gingerly.

Tom Swifties

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

I looked to see what I could hear.

Mixed metaphors

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.

Tom Swifties

You've buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Guest towel: A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.

Definitions Things

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

“I invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.

Tom Swifties

“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.

Tom Swifties

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty