Author: Anonymous Page 60

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

She wears her heart up her sleeve.

Mixed metaphors

They need to wake up and smell the music.

Mixed metaphors

“We have no oranges,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

We are proud to be part of a ground-breaking initiative.

Mixed metaphors

Smoking like a sieve

Mixed metaphors

Originality: Undetected plagiarism.

Definitions

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

Willy-Nilly: Impotent.

Miscellaneous

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

“I won’t play for this team any longer,” Tom decided.

Tom Swifties

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.

People

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions

“We’d like a table for two,” said Tom without reservation.

Tom Swifties

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions