Author: Anonymous Page 61

It dawned across my head.

Mixed metaphors

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

I can't answer that – it's out of my water.

Mixed metaphors

“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.

Tom Swifties

Hospital Room: A place where friends of the patient go to talk to other friends of the patient.

Definitions

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

There's more that one way to skin the cat out of the bag.

Mixed metaphors

Second Place: The first loser.

Definitions

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

We're robbing Peter to pay the piper.

Mixed metaphors

A horse divided against itself cannot stand.

Malaprops

Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Diplomacy: The ability to take something and make the other fellow believe he is giving it away.

Definitions

I'd like to be a fish on the wall at that meeting.

Mixed metaphors

Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

Etiquette: The noise you don’t make while eating soup.

Definitions

Wolf: A fellow who wants his hands on a girl, but doesn’t want a girl on his hands.

Definitions Men People

“Who discovered radium?” asked Tom curiously.

Tom Swifties

The United Nations is a good idea, but it’s a pity they have to have so many foreigners in it.

Government People

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions