Author: Anonymous Page 61

“Let’s eat kosher tonight,” said Tom judiciously.

Tom Swifties

“These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8,” said Tom bitingly.

Tom Swifties

Many a man who misses an anniversary catches it later.

Marriage

“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

He is so old… he owes Jesus a quarter.

Age Exaggerations Old

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

They held a candlelight visual.

Malaprops

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Definitions

“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.

Tom Swifties

Book Jacket: A fable of contents.

Definitions

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

The rain was coming down in droves!

Mixed metaphors Science/Weather