Author: Anonymous Page 63

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

That will open up a whole new can of issues.

Men are like parking spaces: the good ones are already taken and the ones left are either too small or disabled.

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Siamese Twins: First person plural.

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

“You have the right to remain silent,” said Tom arrestingly.

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

The most important decision is that of excepting Jesus in your life.

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

News: The same thing happening today that happened yesterday, but to different people.

Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.