Author: Anonymous Page 63

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

Science/Weather Situations

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

“Will you quit rustling around in my closet!” said Leif.

Tom Swifties

“There’s no need for silence,” Tom allowed.

Tom Swifties

She raped him in a blanket.

Malaprops Situations

That sure did take the steam out of his sails.

Misspokements

“The girl has been kidnapped,” said Tom mistakenly.

Tom Swifties

If worse comes to shove

Mixed metaphors

“Why shouldn’t I stir my coffee with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties

Put your monkey where your mouth is.

Malaprops Money

“Unlike you, I’ve always been a dog person,” he barked.

Tom Swifties

Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.

Marriage

What’s needed in government is more horse sense and less nonsense.

Government

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Intelligence Mind People Self

These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.

Misspokements

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes