Author: Anonymous Page 64

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

“Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude,” said Tom barbarically.

Tom Swifties

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.

Tom Swifties

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Computers Definitions Things

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Definitions

Hospital Bed: A parked taxi with the meter running.

Definitions

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

… just to relieve the monopoly.

Malaprops Situations

I put the pro in procrastinate.

Characteristics

Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Definitions

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Intelligence People Stupidity

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Mixed metaphors

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Democracy is the counting of heads, regardless of the contents.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Now the shoe is on the other horse!

Mixed metaphors