Author: Anonymous Page 65

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.

The crust of the problem

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Money roots out all evil.

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.

She looked gorgeous in her new dress – absolutely explicit.

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.

The squeeky wheel gets the worm.

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.

It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.