Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 65
Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Anonymous
Marriage
Men
People
Sex
Women
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request your
presents
at the marriage of their daughter…
Anonymous
Malaprops
Invitations
Presence
A
horse
divided against itself cannot stand.
Anonymous
Malaprops
House
He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.
Anonymous
Definitions
Brainstorm
Think
Let's do this in one
foul sweep.
Anonymous
Malaprops
One fell swoop
Gold Digger: A woman after all.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Women
Wordplay
Gold Digger
“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
As useless as a pocket on a cow
Anonymous
Expressions
Useless
Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Businessman
“You have the right to remain silent,” said Tom arrestingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“The roof is about to collapse”, Tom upheld.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Toothache
Democracy: A small hard core of common agreement, surrounded by a rich variety of individual difference.
Anonymous
Definitions
Democracy
Government
He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.
Anonymous
Expressions
Intelligence
Stupidity
Confusion
Lost
Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Communism
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Nnatural foods
Loved Ben, hated Hur.
Anonymous
Reviews/Criticism
“Ben Hur”
Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Places
Zoo
Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bachelor
Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Old age
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