Author: Anonymous Page 65

Contract: An agreement to do something if nothing happens to prevent it.

Definitions

An ideal mind is the devil's playground.

Misspokements

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Definitions

”..,” said Tom blankly.

Tom Swifties

“Some of my windows were broken in the storm,” he said, pained.

Tom Swifties

If he were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.

Mixed metaphors

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer. 

Beer Food/Drink

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

“You’re busted!” said the policeman to Miss Parton.

Tom Swifties

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops

He clams up tighter than a drum.

Mixed metaphors

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

“It’s become much bigger,” said Tom with a groan.

Tom Swifties

“I’m going to lie in the sun,” said Tom in Basque.

Tom Swifties

Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod… spare the child.

Definitions

"Welcome to my tomb," said Tom cryptically.

Tom Swifties

Crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory

Expressions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay