Author: Anonymous Page 65

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request your presents at the marriage of their daughter…

A horse divided against itself cannot stand.

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Let's do this in one foul sweep.

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

As useless as a pocket on a cow

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

“You have the right to remain silent,” said Tom arrestingly.

“The roof is about to collapse”, Tom upheld.

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Democracy: A small hard core of common agreement, surrounded by a rich variety of individual difference.

He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Loved Ben, hated Hur.

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”