Author: Anonymous Page 65

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

Food/Drink Marriage

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

Female: One who believes if you charge it, it’s not spending, and if you add a cherry to it, it’s not intoxicating.

Definitions People

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Definitions Doctors

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

“I won’t tell you anything about my salivary glands,” said Tom secretively.

Tom Swifties

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

I'm proud of my humility.

Characteristics

“The roof is about to collapse”, Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

“The executioner has received the tool he needs”, said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Activities Definitions

“Rowing hurts my hands,” said Tom callously.

Tom Swifties