Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 65
Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.
Anonymous
Definitions
Life
Brassiere: A bust stop.
Anonymous
Clothing
Definitions
Bra
Brassiere
Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.
Anonymous
Definitions
Science/Weather
Psychology
“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
The
crust
of the problem
Anonymous
Malaprops
Crux
Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Alarm clock
Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
Professor
Teacher
Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.
Anonymous
Definitions
Past
Time
“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Don't stand behind a coughing cow.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Proverbs
Cows
Money roots out all evil.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
She looked gorgeous in her new dress – absolutely
explicit.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Exquisite
It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gentleman Farmer
The squeeky wheel gets the worm.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Specialist
Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Dogs
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