Author: Anonymous Page 66

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

We have to get all our ducks on the same page.

Mixed metaphors

Avoidance: A dance for people who hate each other.

Definitions

Blushing: The color of virtue.

Definitions

Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.

Activities Definitions

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

Men are like lawnmowers: they’re hard to get started, emit noxious odors and half the time they don’t work.

Men People

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

If you try to eat this elephant all in one bite, you’re going to have a hell of an indigestion.

Mixed metaphors

Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.

Mixed metaphors

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Autos Intelligence Stupidity Things

Middle Age: A time of life when winking at a girl is closing one eye to reality.

Age Definitions

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations