Author: Anonymous Page 66

Kicking off the hockey season

Mixed metaphors

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

Miscellaneous

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

It certainly wipes the floor with your usual commemorative tea towels.

Mixed metaphors

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

Definitions Sex

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter Thinking

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Money Time

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

Intelligence

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Fewer and fewer in between

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

You dug your bed, you lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

You're like a dog barking down the wrong well.

Mixed metaphors

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

Definitions

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

We’ll tackle that bridge when we come to it.

Mixed metaphors