Author: Anonymous Page 66

Bury it under the carpet

Mixed metaphors

Looks like he’s been sortin’ wildcats.

Appearance Expressions

“Why don’t you have some fruit?”, asked Tom with aplomb.

Tom Swifties

“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,” said Tom heartlessly.

Tom Swifties

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

This thing is snowballing like a house afire!

Mixed metaphors

Running around like children with their heads cut off

Mixed metaphors

“Would anyone like some Parmesan?” asked Tom gratingly.

Tom Swifties

Ornery as an old pine knot

Expressions

He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops

Never put all your eggs in one omelet.

Mixed metaphors

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

It’s all water under the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Bragging: The patter of tiny feats.

Definitions

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

Woman: A creature whom God made beautiful that man might love her, and unreasonable that she might love man.

Definitions People

“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties