Author: Anonymous Page 66

Nervous as a hound pissing peach pits

Emotions Expressions

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Y Chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only.

Definitions Men People

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Definitions

Let’s split the baby with the bathwater.

Mixed metaphors

There are two theories to arguing with women… neither one works.

People Women

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Definitions Family

“Do you know the location?” asked Tom warily.

Tom Swifties

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.

Things

Sometimes you just have to let sleeping dogs fall where they may.

Mixed metaphors

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Punctuality: Waiting around for other people.

Definitions

It will have a special time on our plate.

Misspokements

We’ll tackle that bridge when we come to it.

Mixed metaphors

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports