Author: Anonymous Page 66

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

She knocked the socks off the ball.

Mixed metaphors

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

“It’s just gold leaf,” said Tom guiltily.

Tom Swifties

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Appearance Body Expressions

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

Argument: An exchange of ignorance.

Definitions

“Here’s your allowance for the next two weeks,” Tom advanced.

Tom Swifties

Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Two in every one people in this country are schizophrenic.

People

He really grates me up the wrong way.

Mixed metaphors

“So, it’s a duel you want!” Tom shot back.

Tom Swifties

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Characteristics Malaprops

Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for lunch.

Democracy Government

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions