Author: Anonymous Page 66

Kicking off the hockey season

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

It certainly wipes the floor with your usual commemorative tea towels.

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Fewer and fewer in between

You dug your bed, you lie in it.

You're like a dog barking down the wrong well.

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

We’ll tackle that bridge when we come to it.