Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 67
“I like ragged margins,” said Tom without justification.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Abdicate
This is really a jack of all trades and master of non.
Anonymous
Misspokements
God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.
Anonymous
Beliefs
God
People
Self
Praise
“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“My bicycle wheel is damaged,” said Tom outspokenly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Pretend we were in the days before railways,” Tom coached.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Foreword: An author’s apology.
Anonymous
Books
Definitions
Foreword
Due process of elimination
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Innocent Bystander
Alcohol is ok in
modification.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Malaprops
Moderation
Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Taxes
Adage: To become older.
Anonymous
Definitions
Adage
Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
Anonymous
Definitions
Committee
Courage: Fear in action.
Anonymous
Definitions
Courage
Fear
Forget that guy – just
illiterate
him from your memory.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Obliterate
She is going to join the gym to lose some
weights.
Anonymous
Activities
Exercise
Misspokements
Weight
Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Indifference
Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Tailors
Whether the glass is half-full or half empty, depends on whether you are drinking or pouring.
Anonymous
Situations
Perspective
Page 67 of 161
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