Author: Anonymous Page 67

Up a tree without a paddle.

Mixed metaphors

Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

Definitions

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

Definitions

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

Fiddler: A violinist before he becomes the virtuoso.

Definitions Entertainment Music

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

He ran a cottage industry from his garden shed.

Mixed metaphors

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners.

Definitions

Married at the hip

Mixed metaphors

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labor.

Definitions

Bulletin: Your receipt for attending church services.

Definitions

A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.

Mixed metaphors

“We can’t let the fire die out,” Tom bellowed.

Tom Swifties

Some folks are so highly educated they can bore you on any subject.

Education

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

Tom Swifties

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

I've hit the nail on the jackpot.

Misspokements

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

Well, that's a feather in your pocket.

Mixed metaphors

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors