Author: Anonymous Page 67

“3.14159265,” Tom said piously.

Tom Swifties

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Intuition: Suspicion in skirts.

Definitions

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

“Watch out for that broken glass!” she said sharply.

Tom Swifties

When it comes to paying, he’s the first to put his hand in his pocket… and leave it there.

Frugal Money

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

Prophylactic: A rubber check.

Definitions

“I’ve joined the Airborne Medical Corps,” said Tom paradoxically.

Tom Swifties

The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation.

Mixed metaphors

Luxury Resort: One where a waiter expects a $2 tip when he presents a $6 bill for serving a $3.50 bottle of beer.

Definitions

“That’s already been taken care of,” Tom pretended.

Tom Swifties

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School