Author: Anonymous Page 68

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Definitions

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

We're like two peas in a pot.

Malaprops Situations

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Democracy Government Taxes

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Emotions Fear Happiness

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

“The lion has its head caught in the skylight,” said Tom uproariously.

Tom Swifties

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Expressions Marriage

I do emphasize greatly with him.

Malaprops

He could sell socks to a rooster.

Communication Expressions

“Has my magazine arrived?” Tom asked periodically.

Tom Swifties