Author: Anonymous Page 68

“It has zero height, zero width, and just a little depth,” said Tom, stretching the point.

Tom Swifties

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

“Do you think I’m a dull person?” Tom asked bluntly.

Tom Swifties

I'm tired of walking on kid gloves.

Mixed metaphors

They paired off, one by one.

Mixed metaphors

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

Definitions Health

Broom: Witch craft.

Definitions

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

“I think I’ll use a different font,” said Tom boldly.

Tom Swifties

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

Definitions

There's more than one way to spin a rat.

Malaprops

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

She has initiated and is very remorseful.

Characteristics Malaprops

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

“I’ve removed all the feathers from this chicken,” said Tom pluckily.

Tom Swifties