Author: Anonymous Page 68

“I’m wearing a ribbon round my arm,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Money Time

“That young insect is male,” said Tom buoyantly.

Tom Swifties

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.

Mixed metaphors

The world is your lobster.

Mixed metaphors

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Not to put her up on a limestone, but my sister is really terrific.

Misspokements

Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.

Definitions

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Dating Definitions Relationships

That's putting the chicken before the cart.

Mixed metaphors

He’s so ugly, he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

Miscellaneous

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

Chance: The pseudonym of God when he does not want to sign.

Definitions

It was so cold… politicians stopped blowing hot air.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

Mixed metaphors

A heart as big as gold

Mixed metaphors

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing