Author: Anonymous Page 69

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

Easy reading is damned hard writing.

Communication Reading/Writing

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

Mixed metaphors

Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron

Mixed metaphors

We drove around and looked at some apartments, and then we looked at some condoms.

Malaprops

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Definitions People Women

“Do you know the location?” asked Tom warily.

Tom Swifties

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

“I’ve got another @#$%*! insect in my pants”, said Tom adamantly.

Tom Swifties

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

Always remember: golf clubs don’t float.

Golf Sports

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination.

Definitions

Let's not put all of our cookies in a basket.

Mixed metaphors

Thanks: A down payment on the next favor.

Definitions

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

“Is it true that some animals will eat their own babies?” asked Tom literately.

Tom Swifties

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women