Author: Anonymous Page 69

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

He can cry on a dime.

Mixed metaphors

Ugly as a moose chewin ice

Appearance Expressions Ugly

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

Work

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?

Mixed metaphors

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Age Definitions

She has really plummeted to the top of the charts.

Malaprops

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

The rain is coming down like gangbusters!

Mixed metaphors Science/Weather

“I’ll get you out of prison in no time,” said Tom balefully.

Tom Swifties

“This pencil tip is dull,” she said pointedly.

Tom Swifties

My doctor stays true to his Apothecary Oath.

Malaprops

Let’s not open that can of worms until we get this one nailed down.

Mixed metaphors

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? … because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Health