Author: Anonymous Page 7

We all act as one heartbeat.

Mixed metaphors

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

Hold the Farm!

Mixed metaphors

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions

Oh, for I minute there, I thought I was illuminating.

Malaprops

Vasectomy: Never having to say you’re sorry.

Definitions

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Growing up the trellis were pink and yellow concubines.

Malaprops

“Don’t you know my name?” asked Tom swiftly.

Tom Swifties

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

The perferator of the crime was apprehended by the police.

Crime Malaprops

“Well, I got here with five minutes to spare,” said Tom bitterly.

Tom Swifties

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

Sterilize: What you do to your baby’s first pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it on your shirt.

Definitions Family

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Dime: A dollar with all the taxes taken out.

Definitions Money

Spanking: To impress upon the mind from the bottom up.

Definitions