Author: Anonymous Page 7

He was recently diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

Health Malaprops

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?

Uncategorized

“Has the bear gone away?” asked Tom intently.

Tom Swifties

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

“I told you not to ride that horse,” Tom nagged.

Tom Swifties

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

He was engaged to a contortionist, but she broke it off.

Communication Relationships Wordplay

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Autos Marriage Things Wives

“This salmon is excellent,” said Tom superficially.

Tom Swifties

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

I've been mostly camping and living in hostiles.

Malaprops Places

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Animals

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat