Author: Anonymous Page 70

“I’m on social security,” said Tom dolefully.

Tom Swifties

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

I can’t make these split-minute decisions.

Mixed metaphors

“Ein, zwei, drei, fünf,”” said Tom fearlessly.

Tom Swifties

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

“Would anyone like some Parmesan?” asked Tom gratingly.

Tom Swifties

Conscience: An inner voice that warns us somebody is watching.

Definitions

“I’m concerned about the number of people not attending,” said Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

“The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show,” said Tom deludedly.

Tom Swifties

She was drop down gorgeous.

Mixed metaphors

Like stealing cake from a baby

Mixed metaphors

“Who goes there!” the soldier called out haltingly.

Tom Swifties

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

You don't have to beat it with a dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve thought of another exception,” Tom rebutted.

Tom Swifties

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

“Why do you bother? I for one couldn’t….,” said Tom carelessly.

Tom Swifties

Aardvark: In the beginning was the word. And the word was ‘Aardvark.’

Communication Definitions Language

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Definitions