Author: Anonymous Page 70

“I’ve run out of wool,” said Tom, knitting his brow.

Tom Swifties

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

Malaprops Television

Highbrow: One whose learning has outstripped his intelligence.

Definitions

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

When you feel that you would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra.

Age Old Young

Swingin' my legs from a dime

Expressions

“I’ve been waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.

Tom Swifties

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

“Melinda broke my heart,” Tom said half-heartedly.

Tom Swifties

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Ain’t nobody out at that time a night but burglars and bad women.

Expressions Time

These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.

Misspokements