Author: Anonymous Page 72

Electrician: A person who wires for money.

Definitions Occupations Work

Out of the mouths of babes comes cereal.

Children Family Wordplay

I'm not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve.

Malaprops

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

We’ll do this individually as a group.

Mixed metaphors

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Intelligence People Stupidity

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.

Mixed metaphors

Swingin' my legs from a dime

Expressions

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

Television: A watching machine.

Entertainment Television

It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.

Mixed metaphors

Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rites make a wrong.

Marriage

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women

Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.

Activities Definitions

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Underwater Swimmer: One who practices submersive activitites.

Activities Definitions

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

“There’s no need for silence,” Tom allowed.

Tom Swifties