Author: Anonymous Page 74

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places

I never liked him and I always will.

Insults

His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.

Autos Exaggerations Things

“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.

Tom Swifties

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

When you feel that you would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra.

Age Old Young

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

Hit the wall running…

Mixed metaphors

I’d like to be sitting in his shoes.

Mixed metaphors

Diamond: A woman’s idea of a stepping stone to success.

Definitions Things

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

He’s one brick short of the whole nine yards.

Mixed metaphors

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Autos Intelligence Stupidity Things

He was grinnin like a possum eatin a sweet tater.

Expressions