Author: Anonymous Page 74

Absent: The notation generally following your name in a class record.

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Nervous as a hound pissing peach pits

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

… to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

Walking with your head between your legs.

He looks like a bag of antlers.

I’d have to get better just to die.

“How long will I have to wait for a table?” asked Tom without reservation.

“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

You'll get into hot water skating on thin ice!

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.