Author: Anonymous Page 74

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

I'm flying by the edge of my seat.

Misspokements

I like a lot of partisan cheese on my pizza.

Food/Drink Malaprops

Diaper: A changeable seat cover.

Definitions

The police surrounded the building and threw an accordion around the block.

Malaprops Situations

“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.

Tom Swifties

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Definitions Intelligence

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

Arson: Fire caused by friction between the insurance policy and the mortgage.

Definitions

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

“I can see you,” peeped Tom with his hands over his eyes.

Tom Swifties

He looked very thin and emancipated.

Appearance Body Malaprops

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

Definitions

“Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

Fitness: Salvation through perspiration.

Definitions