Author: Anonymous Page 74

Absent: The notation generally following your name in a class record.

Definitions

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Conflict Killing

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

Nervous as a hound pissing peach pits

Emotions Expressions

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

… to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

Malaprops

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

He looks like a bag of antlers.

Appearance Body Expressions

I’d have to get better just to die.

Expressions Health

“How long will I have to wait for a table?” asked Tom without reservation.

Tom Swifties

“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.

Tom Swifties

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

You'll get into hot water skating on thin ice!

Mixed metaphors

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Malaprops

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.

Definitions

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

Death Definitions

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties