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Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

If we are not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?

Animals Food/Drink

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Age Children Family Travel

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He received a decease and desist order.

Malaprops

“I’ve still got two fingers left,” said Tom handsomely.

Tom Swifties

Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Well, thats as clear as a bull in a china shop.

Mixed metaphors

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

“Hey, what’s it worth if I help you escape from prison?” asked Tom contemptuously.

Tom Swifties

He was in cardial arrest.

Health Malaprops

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

“There’s nothing wrong with demons,” Tom said implicitly.

Tom Swifties

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

The rain was coming down in droves!

Mixed metaphors Science/Weather

“We can’t have this and eat it too,” said Tom archaically.

Tom Swifties

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

“Rasputin and I are lovers,” said Nicholas bizarrely.

Tom Swifties