Author: Anonymous Page 76

It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.

Mixed metaphors

Not without a grain of sugar

Mixed metaphors

Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

Books Communication

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

These felled trees are the beavers’ handiwork!

Mixed metaphors

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Murphy’s Laws People

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

They’re diabolically opposed.

Malaprops

Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.

Definitions

Cuddling: An act of warmth and affection that a husband will inevitably interpret as foreplay.

Definitions

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

Bored: To attend meetings.

Definitions

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

I'm traveling incoherent.

Malaprops

“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.

Tom Swifties

“Come up to my apartment,” Tom said flatly.

Tom Swifties

It's hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice.

Mixed metaphors

Once again, the Achilles' heel has reared its ugly head.

Mixed metaphors

Take it with a grain assault.

Malaprops

“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful,” said Tom gracefully.

Tom Swifties