Author: Anonymous Page 76

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions

She's uglier than homemade soap.

Miscellaneous

Middle Age: A time of life when winking at a girl is closing one eye to reality.

Age Definitions

She tried to use reverse psychiatry on me.

Malaprops

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty.

Mixed metaphors

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

“I teach economics at the university,” Tom professed.

Tom Swifties

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.

Mixed metaphors

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Don't mind me, I'm just a mouse on the wall.

Mixed metaphors

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

“What’s a wide-angle lens?” asked Tom obtusely.

Tom Swifties

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

“I just came in through the door,” said Tom, entranced.

Tom Swifties

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

Streams of pilgrims, old and young… flood towards the river to worship.

Mixed metaphors

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay